As if the title of the 1983 film Microwave Massacre doesn’t tip you off, you know you’re in for a trashy cult film when a chick sticks her huge hooters into a “glory hole” at a construction site in the first few minutes.
But most traumatizing about this film is that the killer is played by the man who voiced our beloved Frosty in Frosty the Snowman, Frosty’s Winter Wonderland, and Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July. The only reason I discovered this is because when I was watching Microwave Massacre, every time the killer spoke, I was like, “Why does this dude sound exactly like FROSTY???” Seriously, he talks to his hacked up wife in the freezer in the same naïve, high-pitched happy tone as Frosty.
Frosty works at the construction site. He hates his wife’s cooking. So he creams the bitch, hacks her up, and microwaves her (you know poor Crystal wouldn’t last a minute in the microwave). Yummy. Frosty doesn’t stop there. He begins screwing then killing hot chicks and making shish ke-babes out of them. He even serves his amazing meals to his construction worker pals.
Microwave Massacre is loaded with bad dialogue, bad acting, big boobs, bizarre characters, a cross-dressing neighbor, and an iron-pumping stud at the construction site. Plus, Pee-Wee Herman makes a super short cameo in the last few minutes, but he’s totally unrecognizable.
Whatever you think about this absurd 80s midnight movie, you’ll never be able to watch some of your favorite Christmas classics the same way again after seeing it….