Director Dustin Mills has brought us z-grade, direct-to-video crap like Bath Salt Zombies, Night of the Tentacles, and Zombie A-Hole. But he may have outdone himself with Easter Casket, in which a psycho Peter Cottontail plans to take revenge on the Catholic Church for wanting to rid Easter of all the fun stuff: eggs, chicks, chocolate, and bunnies. So why not use them all as his weapons?
But evil bunny beware. A studly priest who can morph into a masked superhero is on your (cotton) tail! Easter Casket is one of those glorious returns to the kind of garbage teens watched on VHS in the eighties that may not have been mainstream, but remained forever ingrained in their heads.
This trash has got everything:
- Trippy low-budget effects.
- A naked nun who shows it all.
- A floating head Mega-pope.
- A holy hand grenade.
- A burly, beary priest who draws pix of ejaculating penises while he jerks off.
- A talking nun corpse.
- A nun and priest having fun with a black dildo (love them).
- Attack chicks, explosive eggs, deadly chocolate bunny poop, and a killer carrot.
- A Peter Cottontail puppet banging a room full of bunnies and snorting cocaine.
- A naked chick possessed by Peter Cottontail (and she’s actually quite scary).
- A Godzilla-sized Peter Cottontail demolishing a model city.
On top of all that, not only does Peter Cottontail have plenty of great one-liners, but many of the other characters had me laughing out loud as well. It’s tasteless. It’s gross. It’s obscene. And it’s stupid as hell fun.
Only a few things could have tightened up the running time and the pacing. First, there’s a naked dance routine that goes on way too long. Okay. If it had been the studly priest dancing instead of a girl, I might not be saying that. But it did feel excessive. There’s also a long conversation and then sex scene between the studly priest and the main girl that made the film drag a bit. But hey. It pays off, because we get to see him in his boxer briefs immediately after.
I have GOT to see this movie!!!!