Naturally, Linnea Quigley’s most well -known flix are Silent Night, Deadly Night, Return of the Living Dead, and Night of the Demons. Let’s face it. She gets jammed onto antlers while shirtless, dances naked on a grave, and sticks lipstick in her boob. So it’s hard to forget these three films. They made her a b-movie scream queen for life. So here are a handful of her other films from the same period—all directed by David DeCoteau before he went total homoerotic horror! And sometimes, he directed them under a female pseudonym!
Creepozoids is one of those 80s movies with a great VHS cover that is so much more momentous than the film itself. And really, it’s not that bad of a b-grade rubber monster creature feature.
It cracks me up when I read comments about this film’s incoherent plot. Here’s the plot. After the apocalypse, a small group of survivors moves into an old lab. There’s a monster. It kills them. Do the details or lack of them really matter?
The great thing about this film is that DeCoteau cast hot men instead of barely legal boys. Ken Abraham is the standout. His name is Butch (sexy), and he gets naked with Linnea in the shower.
Other than that, the group finds a floppy disc (!!!), big cocoons, a mutated killer rat, and a monster with a lobster claw mouth. Awesome fun! And when it’s down to the final survivor, there’s a demented baby!
Totally awesome 80s cheese, and it only runs an hour and ten minutes.
SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA (1988)
With a name like Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, you really expect a no-budget, sleazy exploitation flick. It’s so not! This is typical 80s cheese, which DeCoteau is so good at.
This is scream queen heaven with Linnea, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer. It also features the chunky guy from Night of the Demons and the spiky haired dude from Elm Street 4.
So a trio of geeks goes over to a sorority house to watch the initiation through the window. What follows is an infamous paddling scene that all the straight boys from the 80s love. Then the girls shower and we see boobs and bush.
The boys get caught peeping, so the girls make them help break into a bowling alley at night to steal a trophy as part of the initiation. They accidentally drop the trophy and unleash this Ghoulies type creature that’s just loaded with one-liners. He also grants wishes…and turns some of the girls into demons.
There’s decapitation and head bowling, naked girls, shirtless guys, face frying in oil, and Linnea battling a leather babe. Plus, the movie finishes with an awesome 80s hi-nrg track.
NIGHTMARE SISTERS (1988)
Nightmare Sisters is oddly similar to Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. Linnea, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer are three geeky college chicks. They invite three geeky college boys over for a séance. They accidentally unleash a demonic force that turns the girls into sexy succubi that eat man meat!
See, the geeks were part of a frat. Their frat brothers call them some homophobic slurs and then follow them to the séance party. So of course they become the first victims. The girls get them shirtless and horny then bite off their wieners in a puff of smoke.
Eventually, a priest is called in, there are exorcist puns, a punk rock demon is vanquished, and they all play Twister. The “Succubus” punk rock theme song is awesome, and Linnea also performs an awesome punk rock song in the movie!
DEADLY EMBRACE (1989)
Deadly Embrace isn’t horror. I guess it’s supposed to be a thriller, but it’s pretty much just the height of 80s erotic excess. Hunky Ken Abraham of Creepozoids is back. This time he gets a job as the gardener for a lonely Beverly Hills Housewife. Oh yeah. You know where this is going. But Linnea Quigley is his girlfriend!
So the housewife’s husband, none other than Jan-Michael Vincent, is having an affair of his own and wants to divorce her. But he’s afraid of her getting half the money. So he wants to catch her in the act with the gardener.
What transpires is an hour and a half of softcore sex. Ken with the housewife. Ken with Linnea. Ken with himself. Ken having random erotic dreams about Michael Bauer squeezing her tits…even when he’s having sex with the women in his life. What a mess! Eventually, the wife goes bonkers and does the unspeakable in a rage of jealousy.
This movie just goes to show you…Linnea is nothing without a rubber monster.
MURDER WEAPON (1989)
The title Murder Weapon pretty much sucks. This is a Linnea slasher…in which all the victims are hunky guys!
The film opens with Linnea killing a dude in the shower. Now that’s how you start a slasher. Soon, she’s out of the loony bin…along with her equally crazy sister (who has none other than fricking Lyle Waggoner as her doctor).
Lounging by the pool, Linnea and her sister end up inviting all their ex-boyfriends over. One of them happens to be Eric Freeman, the hunky killer Santa from Silent Night, Deadly Night 2!
Okay, it’s not particularly scary, but Murder Weapon is loaded with boobs, shirtless guys, awesome generic 80s music, and some fricking gory kills, including a bashed in head, a shot head with a hanging tongue left behind, a hand through the chest that then feeds the heart to the dude, and a bottle to the throat. There’s also a self-referential dig at Nightmare Sisters when the dudes are watching it on television!