The Hangover Horror: all the man you can eat…

doghouse

A group of typical guys’ guys leaves the women behind to go on a party vacation…which turns into a comic nightmare. Before you get your hopes up, you won’t be seeing any shirtless Bradley Cooper here. I’m talking about the British zombie film Doghouse.

Let me start off by saying, this film is a good sign that at some point, some director is essentially going to steal the premise of my novella “Zombied Out” from Closet Monsters. Whereas in “Zombied Out” it’s only the straight people who are infected, leaving just a small group of gays to fight off the hoards, in the movie Doghouse, it’s only women who are infected, leaving just a small group of guys to fight off the whores…I mean, hordes.

Doghouse is a blast. Our half-a-dozen heroes are all likeable…which might explain why pretty much none of them dies for a majority of the film. We have the womanizer, the slob, the bohemian, the black guy, the geek, and even a non-stereotypical gay dude! Very refreshing. Oh, and then there’s the dude who’s always tardy. Needless to say, most of his screen time is near the end of the film because, obviously, he arrives late!

The guys hit the road…and get stranded in a seemingly deserted town. But no. In the shadows hide some of the funniest, gnarliest zombie be-otches ever!!! There’s an axe wielding zombie bride, a sword wielding Wiccan zombie, a zombie dentist (or is she just a dental assistant?), a granny zombie with a walker…but most awesome of all is the scissor lady!!! All the female zombies in town are on the hunt for man meat. It’s like two of my worst nightmares in one—man-starved women who are also zombies!!! That poor gay dude.

The gore effects and zombie makeup are over-the-top hot in this film. Our freaky chicks move like Silent Hill nurses, and they are relentless in their pursuit of the men. They seem most hell-bent on getting the womanizer into the doghouse as punishment for his chauvinistic behavior. He gets his ass whipped with a riding crop…and that’s just the beginning of the pain and humiliation to which he is subjected. Who wouldn’t want to inflict some pain and humiliation on this:

doghouse-hottie

Is that actually man bush? What a refreshing sight.

The men totally rock. They put their total male asshole ways to good use to combat the women. There’s also some woman-bashing to be had—and not just physical blood and guts female zombie bashing. These guys talk some trash! There’s plenty of humor, one-liners and even semi-campy gay humor, as well as what can only be looked at as an homage to March of the Wooden Soldiers. Remember when Stan and Laurel start whacking the darts at the bogeymen with a stick? Well, a dude in this film does pretty much the same exact thing with a gold club and golf balls! Of course, this time, they’re bogeywomen….

The only stumbling block for me was the last 15 minutes or so. One character gives a ridiculous monologue while the relentless zombie be-otches suddenly feel the need to take a break and just dance around waiting for him to finish his speech. What is this, a Jackie Chan film? And in the film’s conclusion, one of the main characters makes one of the dumbest moves ever…which results in the film having an open-ending! It bothered me when I first watched, but the next day I kind of reassessed and realized it was a perfect and sort of optimistic way to end the film, with the dudes just being dudes, regardless of the severity of their situation. After all, this is a kind of satire about the distinct differences about males and females: Men are scum, women are evil hormonal bitches.

Can’t wait for the sequel, hopefully to be titled something like Doghouse 2: Throw the Dogs a Bone.

 

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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