Sexploitation horror comedy torture porn?

bleeding hearts cover

As trashy as Bleeding Hearts is, I can’t deny that I was totally entertained.

bleeding hearts masks

Tony Todd’s intro appearance is completely irrelevant to the rest of the film—and doesn’t even do much for the movie-within-a-movie from which it comes. Bleeding Hearts opens with a bizarre Christmas religious satire movie also featuring a couple of bearish boys…

bleeding hearts boys

and Charles Durning as Santa. WTF? Charles Durning is doing low-budget exploitation flicks now?

bleeding hearts charles durning

Anyway, this seemingly pointless footage is sprinkled throughout the film because it turns out the director is one of the male victims of…

bleeding hearts girls

The “sisters.” Bleeding Hearts is simply about a town in which every year for a month, a group of hot babes goes on some sort of secret “vacation.” At the same time, a group of men in the city mysteriously disappears, never to be seen again. The locals seem oblivious to the connection. But someone is catching on. Dustin Diamond.

bleeding hearts dustin

Yes, fricking Screech is doing an investigative documentary on the situation. Poor Screech. If I didn’t know he’s such a repulsive asshole in real life (thanks, Celebrity Fit Club), I’d find him pretty dang cute and worthy of a long career in crappy b-movies. He’s perfect in this film.

bleeding hearts furry chest

Anyway, aside from occasional interviews Screech conducts with townsfolk, the movie focuses mostly on the girls torturing a group of handsome, shirtless men on a stage in an abandoned theater.

bleeding hearts tie down

There’s foot bashing, toe clipping, ass pegging with a steel pipe cleaner, dick and face rape, stabbing, and cactus torture.

bleeding hearts cactus

While it’s all very brutal, the tone is over-the-top camp with hot babes and shirtless guys! How can you go wrong? I must confess, the babes and their psycho diva attitudes had me laughing quite a bit. The only part that fucked with my head psychologically and forced me to turn away—simply because I hate needles—is a drawn out scene of them injecting their young pretty boy victim with a host of liquids: beer, hot sauce, nail polish remover, urine, ammonia…. You get the picture.

bleeding hearts fork

To ease the pain of that scene, we cut back to the Christmas movie as a bearded cutie, Charles Durning, and a flamboyant queen (fricking Angel from Rent!) play poker, with a picture of Randy Jones from the Village People in the pot. Turns out, God loves Randy Jones. And so does the gay guy, who happens to be the devil—a cliché the film pokes fun at. Oh…and Randy Jones fricking makes a cameo!

bleeding hearts jesus

As for the main plot, this offensive piece of trash celluloid ends up delivering quite a few devious and delicious twists! And wait until you see what becomes of Dustin Diamond’s character. Either my tastes have hit rock bottom or this torture porn comedy was absurdly fun. I don’t want to ponder either option.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES.

I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.

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One Response to Sexploitation horror comedy torture porn?

  1. Joshua Skye says:

    Sounds fun!!!

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