Danny’s Lament: Pluck your magic twanger Froggy!

konami classic 1 box

If you know that reference, then you are truly a Frogger junky like myself. Me and a couple of friends spent a majority of the decade from 2001 – 2009 playing the numerous modernized versions of Frogger for everything from Playstation One to the Gamecube, getting into the whole 20-year anniversary of the 80s. Yet, throughout all those releases, never once was there the inclusion of the original arcade game (while the original Pac Man landed on about a dozen Pac Man remakes).

I thought that had all changed when I discovered Konami Classics Volume 1 for the Xbox 360. I FINALLY just got an Xbox 360. It took my friend long enough to cave and spring for it as a gift for me, but I guess I should forgive her since she was out of work for a year and purchased it for me like the day she found out she actually was about to be hired into a full-time position again.

frogger

So, when I hooked up my Xbox 360 to my HD television with and HDMI cable and digital optical audio cable for full 5.1 surround, the first game I popped into the system to experience all the technological advances it has to offer gamers was…Frogger.

That’s right. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to at last experience the original classic arcade game on a gaming console. So I popped in Konami Classics Volume 1, navigated the menus past the other two pesky ‘classics’—Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and Super Contra—and prepared to leap into Frogger.

But…wait. This Frogger looks DIFFERENT. The general board layout is the same, but the graphics…they’ve been…updated. And the music—this isn’t the Frogger theme song! WTF??? I hit pause, flipped through the game manual, then Googled the hell out of this game. Sure, I found numerous places where it was mentioned that Konami Classics Volume 1 offers you the opportunity to play the games on the disc with their original graphics or modern “enhanced” graphics. Well guess what. EVERY single person on the Internet is a liar. Except me. Because I’m here to tell you the truth. Frogger is the ONLY game on the disc that absolutely does NOT give you a choice between original and enhanced graphics. In fact, it doesn’t even mention that it is subjecting you to enhanced graphics. It just slaps them onto your screen after tricking you with a title screen that looks very much like the one you would have peered at while dropping your quarters into the arcade machine in 1982. I’ve been bamboozled, ribbit! (I mean…dammit….)

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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