Ooh. Scary. Body snatchers vs. the government

puppet masters coverMaybe you have to be a huge fan of author Robert Heinlein to appreciate the 1994 flick The Puppet Masters. Or maybe you just have to be someone who doesn’t think an army presence ruins a horror movie, as I do.

When the movie opens, a bunch of kids in a field sees some alien light shoot down to the earth somewhere in the distance, so they race to see what happened.

If you’re expecting invasion of the small town coziness, forget it. That’s the only “normal people” moment you get. We are immediately thrust into a world of government agents and army men…for the entire movie. Yawn.

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The big slugs that attach to their backs and shoot nasty slug fish lines at them are cool, but I really don’t care about any of the higher ups that are overdosing on slug crack. Not even experienced body snatcher fighter Donald Sutherland gets my sympathy.

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Everyone is constantly asking everyone else to undress so they can see each other’s back, where the slugs attach themselves to control the host’s mind.

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Enema scene?

Quite a few hotties get shirtless. Even the coach from Elm Street 2 gets in on the action–if it isn’t Freddy after his backside, it’s an alien slug. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get the slugus interruptus sex scene, which goes to a man and a woman.

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What the hell did you shove up there?

The strip scenes are the only thrilling moments of the film because an endless barrage of suits, lab coats, and military gear sure does spoil any horror fun. The Puppet Masters could be the poster child for why 90s horror sucked.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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