If you only see one Tasmanian Devil movie this year….

Just like Taz is one of the most rarely seen Bugs Bunny characters, the Tasmanian Devil rarely makes his way into movies. In fact, Tasmanian Devils and Cemetery Gates may be the only two movies solely about these critters. But which one is better? I’ll say right off the bat that the ultimate goal in making a movie about Tasmanian Devils should be not to use CGI. Tasmanian Devils is a SyFy Network original. I virtually rest my case already….

Tasmanian Devils (2013)

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So this one stars that chick who was on The Wonder Years as a kid and turned out to be some sort of mathematical genius…then went on to star in the SyFy Network original Tasmanian Devils….

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They really should just change the name of the channel to the CyGy Network. This flick takes itself super serious and then has CGI Tasmanian Devils flying through the air and latching onto helicopters and shit.

The premise is simple; a group of friends heads into the wilderness to do some BASE jumping—or cliff jumping. Olympic speed skating dude Apolo Ohno dips his toe into the acting water—for like a minute. He’s the first to jump, crashes through the ground upon landing, and ends up with a stone spike through him. His blood seems to waken the Tasmanian Devils in their cave.

tasmanian devils goreThat leaves us with an hour and a half for the friends and some local law enforcement to fight off hordes of CGI creatures in the woods. I’ll admit it. There are a couple of cool horror action scenes—that all happen before they actually reveal the CGI critters. Then it’s one big BASE jump off a cliff with no parachute. But the guys are uber cute.

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And there’s one great twist scene involving a wounded dude and a wounded Tasmanian Devil battling it out.

In typical SyFy fashion, the film ends with a romantic kiss. Blech.

Cemetery Gates (2006)

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Other than the misleading title, Cemetery Gates has everything going for it: Reggie Bannister as a scientist with a possibly gay son, played by cutie Peter Stickles (The Lair, The Trouble with Barry); cute rednecks; adolescent toilet and sex humor; a slut bimbo with bodacious boobs; a man in an awesome Tasmanian Devil costume; and tons of gnarly gore!!!

Yep. Another group heads into the woods—including the maybe gaybe, who’s taking his friends to a cemetery to make a zombie movie! Along for the ride is his new “roommate.” They both deny being butt buddies, but all their friends are totally cool with it if they are, especially the slut bimbo, who adores their gayness.

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Meanwhile, these animal liberator dudes take this great big crate out of Reggie’s lab to free whatever is inside. They put it in the back of their truck and we get a whole scenario that’s a combination of “The Crate” from Creepshow and the transporting of Barlow in Salem’s Lot. Awesome.

This is creature feature fun from beginning to end. The SyFy Network should have just shown this movie instead of making their own film.

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The Tasmanian Devil is all up in your face, there are buckets of REAL fake blood, there’s plenty of cheap humor, Reggie gets to be a hero, and once again, the guys are cute.

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Which leaves one question…does it end with a romantic gay kiss?

I fricking love Cemetery Gates. This one is a party night waiting to happen. Tasmanian Devils is a party killer waiting to happen.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES.

I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.

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