Sometimes I need a break from all the insanity modern horror brings these days. Girl House came along at just the right time. This babe gets back to basics. The stylish intro synth music makes it sound like this is going to be another “throwback” film, but it instead turns into a perfectly paced, sleek, modern slasher.
Applying classic slasher conventions to a modern situation, Girl House focuses on a college student who moves into an X-rated webcam house to make money. She soon becomes the hot new bod in the house, getting major attention from viewers—particularly from a guy with the screen name “Loverboy.” Actress Ali Cobrin totally rules as the main girl.
Part of what makes Girl House so good is that all the characters are likeable—even the sluts and bitches. For a change, we go back to old school style and actually root for the good guys (or girls, in this case). Plus, while there’s plenty of T&A, this isn’t a cheap “slumber party” exploitation flick. Running around barely clothed is just the girls’ job. There’s an interracial lesbian couple, but beyond a kiss hello, they’re never presented sexually together for male fantasy. And despite this film being about a bunch of sexy girls living in a house, it even manages to present a handsome gay male couple as just a matter of fact, making no issue of their sexuality.
But naturally, most important of all is the killer. Actor Slaine (The Town, Gone Baby Gone) is one big guy, and he wears what appears to be a mechanic’s jumpsuit, along with a female mask with long black hair. EEK! He definitely gives off a Leatherface vibe. And he’s FAST. There’s no lumbering here. He chases the girls at full speed. And while the kills are brutal with plenty of blood, it never feels like torture porn.
While the movie relies on a handful of conveniences (the killer is a tech guy who can tap into the security, computer, and camera systems of the house, one kid is a computer science major and can hack his hack, etc.), it makes for a tight plot. The cameras around the house are also used to great effect, delivering fantastic stalker scenes. And it all leads to a super satisfying final chase scene. Just when you were getting tired of saying, “they just don’t make them like they used to,” they did.