Get hooked on love for Valentine’s Day

lovers lane cover

In the wake of the post-Scream slasher resurgence, a little movie from 2000 called Lovers Lane squeezed its way in between I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, and Valentine—and mashed up all three films in the process.

lovers lane hook

On Valentine’s Day 13 years ago, parked lovers were attacked by a hooded killer with a hook hand, who even made one dude jump out of his car in just his tighty whities. Wahoo!

lovers lane undies

Flash to the present and a group of kids, including the sheriff’s daughter, has plans for Valentine’s Day. Guess where they’re going to end up….lovers lane main girl

The sheriff is played by hunky studly sexy hot Matt Riedy, who more recently played a police sergeant in The Den. Hey. The man looks good in a uniform.

lovers lane matt riedy

But I can’t help wonder if he was out of the uniform when he appeared in the gay hustler film Boy Culture. Yeah. It’s time to check that one out. I mean, sometimes, the only part of him you can see in Lovers Lane is his muscle butt!

lovers lane hot cop butt

Anyway, Lovers Lane definitely feels like a slasher from the late 90s, but a good part of the movie just features the kids doing lame shit like bowling and sitting in sex ed class and the sheriff worrying because the dude from 13 years before has escaped from the mental institution.

lovers lane valentine

There are virtually no kills or action until they at last get to lovers lane. They end up in an old house in the woods, where they begin getting hunted down by the killer. Poor Anna Faris, who was just about to make it big with the Scary Movie franchise, gets seriously hooked. Ouch. That’s going to leave a hole. Or should I say, another hole.

loverslane anna faris

It may not be the best slasher, but once Lovers Lane gets to the good parts, it definitely enters familiar territory and entertains enough to satisfy this slasher fan. I did sort of laugh at a quickly slapped together scheme to get the killer that ends with someone screaming “Burn, mother fucker!” To which I added, “Burn!”

The twist is super twisty, combining a little bit of the reveals that we get from all the slashers I mentioned above, which leaves you scratching your head until the characters quickly figure it out for themselves and explain it to us. It’s at that point that you can say, “Ah. That was kind of clever!”

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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One Response to Get hooked on love for Valentine’s Day

  1. joshuaskye says:

    I remember seeing this, but can’t recall the movie itself. I’ll need to revisit.

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