Double feature fun time with demons and witches

There’s nothing like watching horror flix back to back and having simple, cheesy, gory fun with the double feature. Like when I sat down to watch The Demon’s Rook and Hansel & Gretel Get Baked.

THE DEMON’S ROOK (2013)

 demons rook cover

Okay. So watching The Demon’s Rook was cool when followed with Hansel & Gretel Get Baked, but going forward, I will always do The Demon’s Rook as a double feature with Demon Resurrection, which I blog about here. These are both b-movie throwbacks to the great late 70s/early 80s crap from the VHS days, and both take place in the backwoods with demons and zombies galore.

Drenched in eerie pink and green lighting (in the middle of the woods), The Demon’s Rook brings back that old school vibe, throwing in smoke machine madness and a fantastic music score to complete the time capsule feel.

demons rook demon smoke

At the beginning, a kid is visited in his room by a dramatic looking demon (along with pink lighting and smoke machines). He then goes into the woods and climbs into a hole (filled with eerie pink lighting and smoke machines).

demons rook lead

Years later he crawls back out, runs into his childhood friend, and together they have to figure out what happened to him in that hole…and how they can stop the freaky looking demons now roaming the woods, slaughtering and chomping on people, and bringing an army of zombies out of their graves for even more fun.

demons rook zombies

I fucking love this movie. It focuses less on plot and more on simply delivering the horror goods. New groups of people hanging in the woods are introduced repeatedly—just so they can be mutilated and devoured by demons, zombies, and each other. That’s right. The main zombie can turn you into a killing machine with just a thought.

demons rook zombie mouth

There’s uber gnarly monster makeup, tons of bloody gut munching, chicks stripping for a demon, and a topless barn party complete with a live band…and living dead party crashers.

demons rook demon slave

If you’re going to make a low-budget indie, do what director James Sizemore did—delivered a kick ass visual and auditory experience with nonstop, in-your-face monster action.

HANSEL & GRETEL GET BAKED (2013)

hansel gretel get baked cover

Hansel & Gretel Get Baked makes the classic fairy tale relatable to modern audiences. They go to the scary witch to get pot!

While the movie seems like it’s going to be a total stoner film in the first few minutes, it soon pulls away from that and becomes more of a campy, gory horror comedy. Gretel’s boyfriend goes to pick up pot from an old lady and never comes back. So Gretel and her brother Hansel go to the old lady’s place to find him. Little do they know they’re walking right into the witch’s den.

hansel gretel witch

The cast includes cutie Lochlyn Munro who, as he usually does in horror movies, plays a cop.

hansel lochlyn munro

His sidekick is Yancy Butler, a gruff chick who is making a pretty good career out of SyFy originals.

hansel gretel yancy

Our Hansel is Michael Welch, who has a growing horror resume, including All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, An American Crime, Day of the Dead remake, the Twilight franchise, The Demented, and the SyFy show Z Nation. He’s also shirtless and showing off a rockin’ bod by the end of this movie.

hansel bod

And Molly C. Quinn, who plays Nathan Fillion’s daughter on Castle, is our Gretel.

hansel and gretel gretel

But of course, the witch needs some victims. And there’s no shortage of druggies and drug dealers, especially when she texts them the word “faggot.” That word works like a charm, or should I say better than a charm, on straighties.

This would be a pretty average modern fairy tale slasher if it wasn’t for the old witch, played by Lara Flynn Boyle!

hansel gretel lara

She’s one mean witch bitch. This horror comedy gets bloody disgusting as she tears into and dismembers pretty boys for dinner and sucks the life out of them to become young and beautiful. She even delves into a little lesbian action and scores a zombie slave. With her snarky one-liners and bitchy quips, Lara totally steals the show and makes Hansel & Gretel Get Baked worth a watch.

 

 

 

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
This entry was posted in Johnny You ARE Queer - Gay Thoughts, Movie Times & Television Schedules - Staying Entertained, Scared Silly - Horror Comedy, The Evil of the Thriller - Everything Horror and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Double feature fun time with demons and witches

  1. joshuaskye says:

    NICE!!!! I must see these!

Leave a Reply