There’s nothing like watching horror flix back to back and having simple, cheesy, gory fun with the double feature. Like when I sat down to watch The Demon’s Rook and Hansel & Gretel Get Baked.
THE DEMON’S ROOK (2013)
Okay. So watching The Demon’s Rook was cool when followed with Hansel & Gretel Get Baked, but going forward, I will always do The Demon’s Rook as a double feature with Demon Resurrection, which I blog about here. These are both b-movie throwbacks to the great late 70s/early 80s crap from the VHS days, and both take place in the backwoods with demons and zombies galore.
Drenched in eerie pink and green lighting (in the middle of the woods), The Demon’s Rook brings back that old school vibe, throwing in smoke machine madness and a fantastic music score to complete the time capsule feel.
At the beginning, a kid is visited in his room by a dramatic looking demon (along with pink lighting and smoke machines). He then goes into the woods and climbs into a hole (filled with eerie pink lighting and smoke machines).
Years later he crawls back out, runs into his childhood friend, and together they have to figure out what happened to him in that hole…and how they can stop the freaky looking demons now roaming the woods, slaughtering and chomping on people, and bringing an army of zombies out of their graves for even more fun.
I fucking love this movie. It focuses less on plot and more on simply delivering the horror goods. New groups of people hanging in the woods are introduced repeatedly—just so they can be mutilated and devoured by demons, zombies, and each other. That’s right. The main zombie can turn you into a killing machine with just a thought.
There’s uber gnarly monster makeup, tons of bloody gut munching, chicks stripping for a demon, and a topless barn party complete with a live band…and living dead party crashers.
If you’re going to make a low-budget indie, do what director James Sizemore did—delivered a kick ass visual and auditory experience with nonstop, in-your-face monster action.
HANSEL & GRETEL GET BAKED (2013)
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked makes the classic fairy tale relatable to modern audiences. They go to the scary witch to get pot!
While the movie seems like it’s going to be a total stoner film in the first few minutes, it soon pulls away from that and becomes more of a campy, gory horror comedy. Gretel’s boyfriend goes to pick up pot from an old lady and never comes back. So Gretel and her brother Hansel go to the old lady’s place to find him. Little do they know they’re walking right into the witch’s den.
The cast includes cutie Lochlyn Munro who, as he usually does in horror movies, plays a cop.
His sidekick is Yancy Butler, a gruff chick who is making a pretty good career out of SyFy originals.
Our Hansel is Michael Welch, who has a growing horror resume, including All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, An American Crime, Day of the Dead remake, the Twilight franchise, The Demented, and the SyFy show Z Nation. He’s also shirtless and showing off a rockin’ bod by the end of this movie.
And Molly C. Quinn, who plays Nathan Fillion’s daughter on Castle, is our Gretel.
But of course, the witch needs some victims. And there’s no shortage of druggies and drug dealers, especially when she texts them the word “faggot.” That word works like a charm, or should I say better than a charm, on straighties.
This would be a pretty average modern fairy tale slasher if it wasn’t for the old witch, played by Lara Flynn Boyle!
She’s one mean witch bitch. This horror comedy gets bloody disgusting as she tears into and dismembers pretty boys for dinner and sucks the life out of them to become young and beautiful. She even delves into a little lesbian action and scores a zombie slave. With her snarky one-liners and bitchy quips, Lara totally steals the show and makes Hansel & Gretel Get Baked worth a watch.