Bad to the knucklebone…but I still liked it

knucklebones cover

Knucklebones is a total mess, yet it is somehow completely watchable simply because in the end, all its crap doesn’t deter it from being a totally straightforward slasher of the most basic template.

First, we see some sort of Nazi satanic experiment that…involves a naked woman being turned into a monster that then kills all the Nazis? I don’t know what the fuck is going on. All that matters is that there’s T&A and blood.

knucklebones nazis

Next, it’s Texas 1976. Some woman is screaming things I don’t understand and having some sort of attack, apparently in the same building where the first scene took place.

knucklebones woman scream

Then we see a little boy calling for his mommy and finding the screaming woman now dead.

Next, it’s present day. A girl is dumped by her boyfriend, tries to commit suicide, then goes to party with her friends at a haunted factory. This movie is a fucking disaster.

knucklebones suicide

At the factory, they find a box with dice made of knucklebones, and instructions for a ritual to bring a demon to life. It works!

knucklebones ritual

When this demon actually breaks out of one of the kid’s bodies, he looks much more like your typical deformed monster from a backwoods slasher.

knucklebones crawl out

AND, he has a sense of humor! Yes, Knucklebones drops one-liners left and right. Unfortunately, you can barely make out what he’s saying because his voice has been drowned in a demon audio filter.

Even so, Knucklebones just slaughters the fuck out of kids. Even better, some other random group of kids appears in the factory to up the body count. Don’t ask me why one of these guys is welding while his buddy and a chick have sex right behind him, but it doesn’t even matter because Knucklebones mutilates them within seconds.

knucklebones castr guy

The kid from 1976, now a grown man who looks like he’s been living in the factory since then, shows up with a master plan to take down Knucklebones. It fails miserably within seconds.

knucklebones kid grown up

A sheriff shows up to save the day. He fails miserably within seconds.

knucklebones sheriff

Knucklebones leaves the factory and heads over to the main girl’s house. The main girl is still at the factory. WTF?

knucklebones house

Yes, it’s a total shit show that defies any kind of narrative logic, but when a killer fucks a guy up the ass with a chainsaw while promising to “only put the tip in” (somehow, I heard that line loud and clear), and also slices a chick down the middle while she’s riding a guy’s dick, I’ve in no way wasted 90 minutes of my life.

knucklebones chainsaw

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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