An overcooked bunny horror double feature

What’s scarier? A guy in a mask or bunnies from URanus? Let’s get into it.

BUNNYMAN VENGEANCE (2017)

bunnyman vengeance cover

Bunnyman is back! This is supposed to be the final film in the trilogy, but we know how these things go.

Carl Lindbergh remains consistent in making the Bunnyman legend more and more confusing. Numerous flashbacks give us glimpses into his traumatic childhood, and while the description on imdb as of this writing claims that Bunnyman has returned home to his family, he’s living with a bunch of black guys.

bunnyman vengeance family

In the previous movies, his posse was a bunch of white trash, so I’m immediately faced with the conundrum of being perplexed by a Bunnyman movie.

bunnyman vengeance masks

Anyway, his current family of brothers runs a haunted attraction people come to check out… but they don’t check out. Shit, that didn’t work. I was trying to play off an old Roach Motel commercial, where the roaches check in but—eh, forget it.

bunnyman vengeance display

The big question I have (after the racial conflict) is, if there’s this haunted attraction in the middle of nowhere, and people go visit it and are then killed, how exactly does word get out to attract more people if there’s no one left alive to post pix and videos on social media of how cool it is?

bunnyman vengeance throat stab

And if people were going to the place, they would most definitely post about it before arriving, so once they disappeared, wouldn’t authorities eventually catch on to where all the missing persons were heading?

bunnyman vengeance speared

It doesn’t even matter. If you’ve watched and are a fan of the other two films, you’ve grown accustomed to how convoluted they are. This one takes the cake, confounding us even further. The series seems to hit rock bottom when Bunnyman has an hallucinatory dream sequence set to thumping electronic dance music and loaded with sex and violence.

bunnyman vengeance dream

While there are some torture scenes and good, brutal kills (a scene involving a spider is particularly delicious), there’s no core group of friends to connect with.

bunnyman vengeance tarantula

When you wade through all the madness going on, the film ends up being about Bunnyman and the family of black guys…who eventually turn on each other in a junkyard gun battle!

bunnyman vengeance shootout

Considering we’re talking about the backwoods horror subgenre here, I’d say more appropriate than the usual “jump the shark” phrase, you could say the Bunnyman franchise made a wrong turn… 

And screw you with your judging, because yes, I will be adding this to my collection to complete the trilogy.

CUTE LITTLE BUGGERS

cute little buggers cover

Director Tony Jopia has been on my radar since I watched his werewolf flick Crying Wolf, which half satisfied me. The same can be said for Cute Little Buggers, which runs a (w)hopping 110 minutes. No! Just…NO!

cute little buggers aliens

I’ll tell you immediately what should have been cut out in case the pic above doesn’t speak a thousand words. The story revolves around 2 aliens plotting to spread their seed on earth. We are subjected to repeated interludes of the 2 aliens in their spaceship, monitoring the action taking place in the movie. No! Just…NO!

cute little buggers bunnies

Otherwise, this is a fairly fun creature feature with some of the worst CGI critter effects this side of a SyFy flick. But considering these are alien rabbits with faces that open up like the split-faced zombies from the Resident Evil movies, and considering they’re ripping apart a bunch of backwoods hicks, it’s all in good fun, so it works.

cute little buggers open faces

The only real problem is, it takes FOREVER to get to the main massacre at some sort of hoedown, jamboree, bake sale, square dance, or wife/sister/cousin swap – whatever it is rednecks do to kill time in between church and dying. Once the fun at last hits the fan, these alien bunnies crawl out of seeded females, crawl out of man asses, and grab bitches by the tits with their tentacles.

cute little buggers bunny ass

There’s even a cameo by scream queen Caroline Munro.

cute little buggers caroline munro

Finally, the locals stop burning crosses on lawns long enough to lynch some alien bunnies.

cute little buggers bunny POV

Funniest scene involves one guy realizing his piss makes the bunnies burst into flames…and another guy attempting to catch the stream to bottle it.

cute little buggers piss

But really…110 minutes? No. Just…no. But, yeah…just…yeah. I’ll totally keep watching Tony Jopia movies.

 

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES.

I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.

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