Alpha Wolf vs. The Snarling. Which one will make you howl?

I love me some hairy humor, but one of these two werewolf horror comedies failed to make me laugh until I coughed up a furball, while the other made me laugh until I lifted my leg and peed.

THE SNARLING (2018)

The concept is so much fun. A cast and crew making a zombie film in the woods start getting attacked by a werewolf. Seriously, is it possible to screw up that kind of horror comedy premise?

Even the title is fun here, so I can’t fathom what went wrong, other than what I think did, in my opinion: a) any werewolf fun was left out in exchange for endless dialogue, and b) someone seemed to think that just writing a British comedy with dialogue spoken by British actors would automatically make it British humor gold.

There is barely anything to tickle my funny bone here (not even the two gay guys). The lead character, who is supposed to be an angry pampered film star, is abrasive in his non-stop shouting.

There’s a lot of talking on set. A lot of talking at a pub. And an absurd chunk of time is filled with men reacting to an attack video they’re reviewing. And rather than funny, their comments are basically a play-by-play description of what they’re seeing…but we never get to see!

The most thrilling parts of the film? A reference to actor Danny Dyer, some references to An American Werewolf in London, and the werewolf, which gets maybe two minutes of screen time at the end and at least looks like a costume borrowed from one of the better werewolf movies, such as The Howling or Bad Moon. This probably would have worked better as a short film…or a better long film…

ALPHA WOLF (2018)

I’m a sucker for cheesy werewolf midnight movies, and Alpha Dog is the ultimate. The director of Voodoo Moon brings us a film that simply must be watched at midnight with a bunch of friends, a big bowl of popcorn, and a couple of bottles of Cherry Coke, so you can get high on caffeine and laugh at how bad it is, mostly intentionally (I think).

We see the fully Monty in the opening kill, so there are no surprises here. It’s classic furry werewolf costume stuff, and the gore looks like they picked up a slab of meat at the grocery store and poured ketchup on it.

Casper Van Dien is at his over-the-top laughable best as he comes to a cabin in the woods with his wife and dog. He’s also at his sexy ripped best.

Things get hilarious when the werewolf crashes through their window and bites Casper, who runs off and leaves the dog to defend the wife.

Ah, the dog. I can’t even tell you what happens to the dog without spoiling the brilliantly absurd plot. But I can say his acting is just as bad as everyone else’s. Me and the hubby are very sensitive to scenes of dogs being hurt in movies, but when this pup gets knocked down and lays there with a big doggy smile on his face and his tongue hanging out of his mouth, we burst into laughter.


Hey trainer, I’m playing dead! Can I get that treat now?

Other highlights include sex scenes, a naked guy who shows up at the house and doesn’t exactly speak…um…English, and the most laughable werewolf car trap scene ever, partially because it’s the only werewolf car trap scene ever.

Alpha Dog is so bad it’s too good to be on the SyFy network. It’s definitely the winner of this duo of werewolf horror comedies.

About Daniel

I am the author of the horror anthologies CLOSET MONSTERS: ZOMBIED OUT AND TALES OF GOTHROTICA and HORNY DEVILS, and the horror novels COMBUSTION and NO PLACE FOR LITTLE ONES. I am also the founder of BOYS, BEARS & SCARES, a facebook page for gay male horror fans! Check it out and like it at www.facebook.com/BoysBearsandScares.
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